'Cellino v. Barnes' review — quick and witty insight into the lives of legal duo
Read our review of Cellino v. Barnes off Broadway, a new musical written by Mike B. Breen and David Rafailedes and directed by Wesley Taylor and Alex Wyse.
A comedy about lawyers? Sounds paradoxical, but only until you hear who it’s about. Many people, especially New Yorkers, are probably already familiar with Cellino and Barnes, the legal duo whose personal injury law billboards were about as ubiquitous as trees. Their jingle was arguably even more so - one of those classic commercials that you could hum along to without even realizing what you were doing. (If you know it, you could probably hum along right now: “Cellino and Barnes, injury attorneys, eight hundred eight eight eight, eight eight eight eight.”)
Cellino v. Barnes is a tight two-hander that sails by thanks to the chemistry of its two leads. Eric William Morris is a buffoonishly braggadocious Ross Cellino with a sprinkle of daddy issues, and Noah Weisberg (in a comically ill-fitting bald cap) is a slightly skeevy, yet endearingly dedicated Steve Barnes. We follow the two of them at breakneck speed from the moment young nepo baby Cellino catches first year associate Barnes rooting through company files, trying to get a leg up for his hiring interview.
From the start Cellino and Barnes immediately match each other’s freak, and it’s a beautiful thing to see. The writing is quick and mostly witty, and Morris and Weisberg infuse their repartee with tenderness, a boyish wonder, and just a dash of sexual tension. But the jokes didn’t always land at the show I attended. It could be down to the unrelenting pace of the script. However, with a premise so gimmicky and a script so unabashedly silly, this show is bound to wear thin for anyone searching for deeper meaning.
Cellino v. Barnes summary
After founding their own personal injury law firm in the late 1990s, attorneys Ross Cellino and Steve Barnes rose to prominence because of the sheer number of billboards and benches with their faces on them - not to mention their ever-catchy jingle, a definite earworm and a one-time internet meme that made its way through several Broadway casts in 2018. Inspired by their infamously tumultuous separation, Cellino v. Barnes presents a farcical, and yet basically true history of the two men: how they met, why they connected, how they operated, and most importantly, why they broke up.
What to expect at Cellino v. Barnes
Cellino v. Barnes runs at Asylum NYC, a cozy venue just east of Madison Square Park. As the audience files into their seats, a late-nineties soundtrack sets the stage for the meeting of our two heroes (or maybe anitheroes?) with a solid rotation of songs like Lady Aqua’s “I’m a Barbie Girl” and Celine Dion’s “It’s All Coming Back to Me Now.” (Barnes later excellently compliments “Cellino Dion” while they’re brainstorming jingles).) The set is made up of stacks of bankers boxes and filing cabinets, complete with a stage curtain of vertical blinds like the ones you might find in, say, a law firm in Buffalo, New York. We follow the drama of the pair from 1997 to their incendiary breakup in 2017. With a fast-paced script, 80-minute run time, and an endless supply of energy, Cellino v. Barnes is a fun ride from start to finish.
What audiences are saying about Cellino v. Barnes
Cellino v. Barnes has been garnering positive attention on social media with more sure to come, given the unique subject matter that already has a cult following.
- “This show is pure farcical fun. I don’t think I stopped laughing for like, the entire 80 minutes.” — TikTok user @ashleyhufford
- “I need there to be an intense, dedicated fandom for this.” — TikTok user @shilohinthecity
- “Cellino and Barnes is literally my Roman Empire.” — Instagram user @torppsbride
Who should see Cellino v. Barnes
If the names Cellino and Barnes are even vaguely familiar to you, there will be something to love in this dramatization of the careers of these larger-than-life lawyers.
Anyone looking for some good theatre that doesn’t take itself too seriously and has a quick runtime, this show flies by with plenty of laugh-out-loud moments from beginning to end.
If you’re searching for your next cult-favorite bromance, look no further than the magnetic rapport between actors Eric William Morris and Noah Weisberg as Cellino and Barnes, respectively.
Learn more about Cellino v. Barnes
Cellino v. Barnes is incredibly unserious, which is perhaps the show’s best trait. And who among us couldn’t do with a laugh?
Photo credit: Cellino v. Barnes off Broadway. (Photo by Marc Franklin)
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